Why Vodka is Evil!
A little vodka now and then can be fun and take the edge off. Too much vodka can get you in serious trouble as one 27-year-old Swedish man found out. Our friend, who was identified only as Joel, says he has serious regrets about drinking a full bottle of vodka after waking up the next morning and finding a six-inch tattoo of a male sex organ on his leg! Joel says he recalls very little about that evening but his friends were more than happy to fill in the gaps. After hitting all the area nightclubs, he and his buddies went to a hamburger joint where Joel started rambling about his desire to get a drunken tattoo. Little did he know that the next booth was occupied by a tattoo artist who immediately expressed an interest in fulfilling Joel's wish just as long as he was given free rein to express himself fully on the drunken man's limbs. Joel and a friend took off with the stranger in a taxi and the next morning he awoke with the x-rated leg! But rather than try and sue the guy as many would, Joel said he has no hard feelings and takes responsibility for his own actions saying, "It's not like he forced me!" (Waterloo News)

No More Fake Virgins in Egypt!
Sorry ladies-- conservative Egyptian lawmakers have called for a ban on imports of a Chinese-made kit meant to help women fake their virginity. One lawmaker has even called for the "exile" of anyone who imports or uses it. Called "The Artificial Virginity Hymen Kit," it is intended to help newly married women fool their husbands into believing they are virgins -- which is very important in the conservative Middle East where sex before marriage is considered a huge no-no. Sheik Sayed Askar, a member of Egypt's Muslim Brotherhood who is on the parliamentary committee on religious affairs, said the kit will make it easier for Egyptian women to give in to temptation. He demanded the government take responsibility for fighting the product to uphold Egyptian and Arab values. But Marwa Rakha, an author and blogger who writes about dating issues, sees the product as a tool of empowerment for women in a macho Arab culture that restricts women's sexual urges but turns a blind eye to men gallivanting around. Well at least now you know where they get those 72 virgins from. (Sky News)

Deep South Double Decker Bus!
Just call it the double-decker bus of the Deep South. Unfortunately it's not exactly legal. Police in Albertville, Alabama arrested a 37-year-old mother for endangering the welfare of a child after she allegedly let her 13-year-old daughter ride in a cardboard box on top of their van! Police received a call about a minivan on a state highway with a child riding on top. The woman told police the box was too big to go inside the van, and that her daughter was inside the box to hold it down. And she was under the impression it was perfectly safe because after all -- she had secured it to the van with a clothes hanger! Fortunately the daughter wasn't harmed and turned over to a relative as mom went off to jail. (The Huntsville Times)

Now We Shoot Each Other Over Leaves!
In Boston, Christopher Leonard has been arrested and charged with armed assault with intent to murder after police said he shot his neighbor over a leaf-dumping dispute. 38-year-old Leonard allegedly shot his neighbor John Rota in the stomach after they got into an argument over the disposal of leaves near their homes. Rota was taken to Boston Medical Center and later released. He told police that Leonard always carried his gun, even when mowing the lawn or playing with the kids in the yard. (The Enterprise)

Vampire Wedding!
Want to know what it's like to have a vampire wedding. Well 61-year-old Jack Holsinger and his 44-year-old bride Connie Spitznagel made it happen in Columbia Station, Ohio. They both donned full vampire regalia for their "scare-emoney" on Saturday night at a haunted house near Cleveland. The couple chose the location because it's operated by the same people who own a campground where they met. The groom arrived in a coffin inside a hearse, and the coffin was carried to the altar by six pallbearers. Minister Greg Kopp was dressed as Jason from the "Friday the 13th" movies. After the vows were exchanged, he ordered Holsinger not to kiss his new bride but instead to bite her on the neck. Despite their claims of being vampires, both did vow to stay together "until death do us part." Which in this case would be forever -- right? (The Chronicle-Telegram)

What Did You Think Would Happen?
I'm not sure what the answer is but if we're going to release guys from prison that have no money and nowhere to go, what do you really think is going to happen? In Orlando, Florida, 24-year-old Douglas Martin told police he was broke and homeless after they released him from a two-year stint in prison for burglary. So guess what -- he went out and robbed a couple of banks and is now back in jail just two days after getting out. He said his inspiration was a news story about a serial bank robber who made it look easy. (Orlando Sentinel)

Darth Vadar Porn?
The actor who played Darth Vadar in the original Star Wars series is David Prowse. Dave's 74-years-old now and just found himself the victim of a police raid after reports that he was shooting a porn film in Staffordshire, England. Nosey neighbors had apparently jumped to the wrong conclusion after seeing a camera and lighting equipment being taken into the bungalow. Instead of a hot, steamy porn scene, the police found the house filled with actors filming dialogue for a movie ironically called "The Kindness of Strangers." The film is being directed by Deborah Hadfield and is about a widow trying to raise too difficult sons. (Ananova)

Big Old Candy Store!
The world's largest candy store is about to open up in the Dubai Mall. Called "Candylicious," the store will feature no less than 10,000-sqaure-feet of nothing but candy! A second store is expected to open in Singapore early next year. The new stores will sell everything kind of candy imaginable from around the world and is projecting sales of $10 million annually. There's also a huge 32-foot high singing chocolate tree decorated with lollipops. Customers will not need to necessarily have venture into the store to taste the candy. The store will also employ "Candylicious Junior," a car that will circle the mall. (Reuters)

Big Mac at The Louvre?
Our French friends are in an uproar over the proposal of opening up a McDonald's restaurant at The Louvre (Loov) museum! The new Mickey D's would be located just a few yards from the entrance to the country's Mecca of high art and the world's most visited museum. One art historian working at the museum said, "This is the last straw! This is the pinnacle of exhausting consumerism, deficient gastronomy and producing very unpleasant odors in the context of a museum." Didier Rykner, head of The Art Tribune website found the idea "shocking". But nevertheless, McDonald's confirmed that a restaurant will open next month. The Louvre confirmed it will be positioned in the underground approach to the Louvre, known as the Carrousel du Louvre. The museum told the Daily Telegraph it had agreed to a "quality" McCafe and a McDonald's in place by the end of the year, which it said was "is in line with the museum's image". Oh what's the big deal -- they've already got a Starbucks! (True!) And if you truly don't know -- The Louvre houses some of the world's most admired paintings and art pieces including The Mona Lisa by Leonardo De Vinci. What -- didn't you see the De Vinci code? (UK Telegraph)

How About Mourning Your Son's Death For a Change?
This is as funny as it is sad. Michael Jackson's father, music mogul Joe Jackson, has been banned from a German beer festival in Munich because event organizers said he should not be partying after his "child has passed away." Jackson requested VIP access to Oktoberfest-- an annual event which runs for 16 days-- but was refused entry by event director Sepp Kratz because he thinks Joe should be mourning the death of his son Michael who passed away in June. Sepp said, "Michael Jackson's father was desperate to have a seat reserved. I rejected his request immediately. I was really shocked. The man has just buried his son. It's totally inappropriate to celebrate happily just after your child passed away. That's just not right. In short, anyone who has no sense of decency isn't welcome at our place." (AHN News)

Cat Survives Arrow Through the Head!
In Learned, Mississippi, a cat has managed to survive being shot in the head with an arrow! The cat's owner, Randolph Henderson says the shot didn't even seem to faze his cat, named BC. The veterinarian who removed the arrow said it entered BC's skull and miraculously arched over his brain. Henderson, who hunts turkeys with a bow and arrow, said he believes the arrow that struck BC was a practice arrow, which is much duller than arrows used for hunting. If it were sharper, the arrow likely would have pierced BC's brain and killed him. Henderson doesn't know who shot the car but believes it was just an accident and the cat being in the wrong place at the wrong time. (AHN News)

The Ultimate Pick-Up Line?
This has got to be the ultimate pick-up line of all time -- mostly because we cannot believe it actually worked. In Queensland, Australia, high school officials are investigating an incident earlier in the year in which two teenagers had what was reported to be consensual sex that the couple recorded on a cell phone camera. However, now the girls is saying she was talked into losing her virginity by her boyfriend out of fear that the world would soon end as a result of the scheduled restart of the Large Hadron Atom Collider near Geneva, Switzerland, which -- at the time -- was scheduled to open later in the year. It did open in September, and no, the world did not come to an end. (Courier-Mail)

Kentucky No Longer Coon Hunting Destination!
Well it's a sad day for the folks in Kentucky. They are no longer the top dog when it comes to coon hunting. Looks like Illinois has landed the Professional Kennel Club's world coonhound championships this year. The 10-day event had been held in Kentucky for nearly two decades. Kentucky business owners are none too pleased as it means about $3.5 million in revenue just walked out their state's door. In the meantime, the residents of Salem, Illinois are working with glee as they prepare for the arrival of nearly 2,000 of the nation's best hounds later this month. President of the PKC, Roger Carnegie, said a devastating ice storm that hit Kentucky last winter cemented the decision. That storm downed trees across the state, making it difficult for hunters to walk through forested areas. (Louisville Courier Journal)

That's Showing Him!
In Pasadena, Texas, police say a local woman was so angry at her husband she fried their pet goldfish and ate some of them to get back at him. However police are considering it a civil matter and no charges will be filed. The seven goldfish were purchased together by the couple during what were clearly happier times. The original fight was about some jewelry the man had given her but took back. Officers who were dispatched to the woman's home arrived to find four fried goldfish on a plate. The woman said she had already eaten the other three. The couple's names were not released. (myway.com)

Sweets Lead To Violence?
Hey there's a new study out that says kids who eat too much candy and sweets may be more likely to be arrested for violent behavior as adults! British experts studied more than 17,000 children over a 40 year period. All children in the study were born in 1970 and of the children who ate candies or chocolates daily at age ten, 69 percent were later arrested for a violent offense by the age of 34. Of those who didn't have any violent clashes, only 42 percent at sweets daily. The entire study can be found in the October issue of the British Journal of Psychiatry. I don't know. Back in the day my mom put a Little Debbie Snack Cake in my lunch every day. Yummy, Yum! And I've never been arrested for violence. (Sky News)

How You Know You Live in a Small Town!
You know you live in a small town when the main topic of discussion on the local talk radio show is that somebody left a mattress on the side of the road! Morning Show radio host Dale Deason spotted a mattress discarded along the side of Highway 11/64 on his way to work from "Hooterville" near Chattanooga, Tennessee. He suggested on the air that someone with public works might want to pick it up. But several days later it was still there and it appeared that work crews had mowed the grass AROUND the mattress rather than actually moving it off the road. Dale finally got someone from the public works department to join him on the air who said they were "on the job." We'll let you know if the mattress ever actually gets picked up. (The Chattanooga Pulse)

Go Ahead -- Name Your Kid "Q"!
Judges in Sweden have overturned a legal ban on a pair of science fiction fans who wanted to name their son "Q" after their favorite Star Trek character. Rickard Rehnberg and his wife appealed to the Swedish Supreme Court after two previous hearings upheld a court order saying the name could cause the boy "mental anguish". Appellate judges ultimately decided there was no proof the boy-- now nearly one year old-- would suffer because of the name. Rick said, "He's been called Q almost since day one. He listens to the name and can actually say his own name. He is a unique child and we thought he should have a unique name." The character "Q" was a reappearing role for actor John de Lancie in Star Trek: The Next Generation, Deep Space Nice and Star Trek: Voyager. (Ananova)

First Clown In Space!
The man who founded the Cirque du Soleil theatre company in the 1980s has become the first clown in space! Canadian billionaire Guy Laliberte was aboard the Soyuz space craft which blasted off to the International Space Station. He paid over $30 million for his ticket and says he will make the ISS astronauts laugh during his 12-day stay, and produce a web event that highlights the issue of clean water for all. He also wore a clown nose during take off. (Ananova)

Thanks For the Alibi Dad!
Police in Deer Lake, Newfoundland, have decided not to press charges against three boys whom they had previously believed had harassed a young moose so badly that it had to be put down. Although officers were at first convinced the boys were to blame, a final piece of evidence in their defense came from the father of one of the boys who swore that the three youngsters couldn't have possibly committed the crime-- since they were all busy at the time vandalizing a nearby church! (CBCN News)

Don't Blame Me!
In Willits, California, 62-year-old motorist Catherine Stotts was speeding down a blocked off construction lane when she struck and injured a 60-year-old highway worker! While the worker required hospitalization, Ms. Stotts was none too concerned and instead complained about receiving a traffic citation telling officers that the man could have jumped out of the way faster! (Willits News)

Hey 911 -- My Conscience Is Killing Me!
In Port Orange, Florida, when 42-year-old Tony Max Olea called 911, it wasn't your typical everyday emergency call. Oh he needed police alright -- not to help him but to arrest him for robbing a bank! The call from Olea came about 20 minutes after he walked into a Colonial Bank branch and handed the teller a note implying that he had a gun and that he wanted money. The teller gave him the money, along with a dye pack, which reportedly went off. We can only assume his conscience got the best of him and a short while later he called 911 from a gas station parking lot to turn himself in. He was charged with a single count of robbery. (Daytona Beach News-Journal)

Watch Out For the Leg Rubber!
Watch out Wheaton, Illinois -- you've got a leg rubber! Police have arrested 19-year-old college student Quincy Forrester, after he allegedly broke into the unlocked apartments of three women and started rubbing their legs as they slept. When the women woke up, Forrester, who was dressed entirely in black, fled. But he was recognized because he lived in the same apartment complex as his victims. (Chicago Sun Times)

Are You Really That Stupid?
Hey if you're "carrying" -- best not to carry it into the county courthouse. In Fort Pierce, Florida, police arrested an incredibly stupid 21-year-old woman as she was going through the security checkpoint at the St. Lucie County Courthouse. When security personnel searched her purse -- which of course is standard procedure -- they found a razor, a knife, scissors and padlock -- oh yeah -- and a BAG OF MARIJUANNA! Not her brightest day. (The Stuart News)

Couple Married 49 Years Finds Out They're Not Married!
Imagine celebrating 49 years of a happy marriage only to find out you're not really married. That was the fate of Frank and Betty Skrout of Wilmore, Pennsylvania. They were married on Oct. 6, 1960-- or so they thought. But when they recently went looking through some personal documents, they found their "return of marriage" document had never been filed by Rev. James Feehley after their wedding at St. Bartholomew Catholic Church. Patty Sharbaugh, the Cambria County official in charge of the records said she would file the necessary paperwork and backdate it to the wedding date, if the right form can be found. So the Altoona-Johnstown Catholic Diocese has officials looking for the documents to make the marriage official. In the mean time, Frank joked that he'd been living in sin for 49 years with a woman he thought was his wife. (AHN News)

4-Year-Old Smoker!
In China, doctors say they were shocked to discover that a four-year-old boy is already a heavy smoker. The boy, who has the unfortunate name of Dong Dong, lives in Banqiao village in eastern China and has reportedly been smoking since he was just two. His family, who runs a grocery store, say it started with the boy mimicking adults but apparently he got hooked and they have been unable to stop him from stealing cigarettes. Doctor Zhang Gong, from Anhui Provincial Children's Hospital, said, "From the way the boy smokes and his posture, he looks to have had a long history of smoking even though he is so young." His grandparents say, "When he needs cigarettes, he just takes them from the house or steals a pack from the store. We just can't seem to stop him." They also say Dong drinks alcohol and learned to walk and talk later than other children of the same age in the village. (Jianghuai Morning Post)

WTF Wisconsin?
The times they are a changing. And so are the acronyms. The Wisconsin Tourism Federation has officially changed its name, after realizing its acronym, WTF, had become a popular internet and texting slang with an entirely different meaning. So hence forth they will be known as the Tourism Federation of Wisconsin or TFW. Apparently somebody pointed out that a modern day expression of foul-mouthed astonishment may not be the best way to attract tourists into the state. But if you want a good laugh, the old WTF logo is still on the agency's web site until they can get it changed. (Ananova)

Male Breast Feeding?
26-year-old male Swedish college student Ragnar Bengtsson is off an interesting adventure. He's begun pumping his breasts at three-hour intervals for the next 90 days to see if he can get his male breasts to produce milk. If he succeeds, he said, it could prove "very important for men's ability to get much closer to their children at an early stage." A professor of endocrinology at Ragnar's college said that male lactation without hormone treatment might produce "a drop or two," but suggested that men instead consider offering their breasts to babies as a matter of comfort and warmth, rather than as food. Ragnar will be reporting his progress regularly on a local TV station in Stockholm. And this should be fun -- his pumping schedule also requires that he sometimes pump during classes. (The Aftonbladet)